The Drudgery of Motherhood Morale, Testy Toddlers, & Perspective

"The gods of moralistic religions favor the successful and the overachievers. They are the ones who climb the moral ladder up to heaven. But the God of the Bible is the One who comes down into this world to accomplish a salvation and give us a grace we could never attain ourselves." 

- Dr. Tim Keller

My husband and I had our first daughter, Evelyn, in 2013.
She was my little best buddy.
My life as a stay-at-home mom was a breeze—a continuous joy with my constant companion.

            Then in 2015, we had our second daughter, Lorraine. My first baby was smooth sailing, and all was still well with two children…until they both quite insistently decided they needed me to be Wonder Woman, Super Nanny, and Judge Judy combined. It was when Lorraine started developing her own personality as a toddler that I finally recognized that I did not have this parenting thing in the proverbial bag. When preparation, negotiation, and kid-friendly reasoning ceased to prevent torrential meltdowns, I knew we were in trouble. 

There is nothing like having two tiny divas in your house to remind you that you need God every day.

            Maybe He softly grinned in my direction once this new stage started because it was obvious that I could use a sturdy stream of humility. Up to that point, I had little understanding when friends would express stress and sadness about being stay-at-home moms. It was hard to comprehend why anyone had trouble regulating their little ones. Before then, I didn't have much sympathy for fellow moms having an awful day because I did not understand the real depth of that concept!

            Without Jesus reminding me that loving and raising my children should be a priority, I would raise my white flag. Without Jesus, I would have a hard time forgiving all of the kicking, screaming, “dead weight” tantrums that, quite honestly, embolden my innermost desire to have a date night on the curb in front of my house—with a giant iced coffee and a box of assorted donuts. Being a mom will always have facets that make me feel like turning in my “mom badge,” but I have God to help point me to the Scripture passage on loving my children, or how important disciplining my child is, or how I am loved unconditionally in my failures for the thousandth time—at just the time I need it most.

            A perfect mom, person, or even a clown for that matter, does not exist. The only place that truth can bring me is back to is reality; reality that free-willed children produce the humility I once flouted. I cannot even attempt to look put together in all aspects of my life now. It is awful, but it is building character. I hate it, but in a strange way I am thankful for the encounter. It makes me feel as if I am incapable of doing anything correctly, but also reminds me that I am a sinner by default in need of Divine assistance.

 In a mother’s world of comparison, being reminded that I am not in the running for Mom of the Year or World’s Most Even-Tempered Mom, is not the worst thing for someone who has a tendency to slap on the pride when my life is going smoothly. 

It's a good thing that I cannot venture to be good enough, accomplish enough, or be perfect enough to earn good standing with God…because He knows I could never achieve it. Having relationship with God doesn't make my life suddenly carefree, but it does give me growth, comfort, and strength to carry on.